Ola!! Havana was heaven!

Just left what may turn out to be the hottest destination for well heeled tourists in the near future - Havana. I went there expecting very little and have become a new convert! I still don't smoke cigars! I don't smoke, period! Nor do I drink well- aged Cuban Rum. Errrr.... I don't drink Rum. And there is nothing to shop for, apart from Che t-shirts, caps and mugs ( I bought! I bought!). But I did discover a very proud people. Proud of their identity. Proud of their nation ( just 12 million Cubans). Proud of their culture ( what music!). And generally unafraid of what the world thinks of them. That's confidence. The Cuban peso is nearly as strong as the Euro. And nothing is cheap here, least of all those coveted cigars. And no, the magnificent Cohibas ( grand fathers of all great cigars) are not rolled on bare female thighs as rumoured!
The cuisine may not be too sophisticated ( very basic and tasteless, actually), but a couple of outstanding restaurants are worth a visit. Particularly, Le Chansonier, which I was told was the big favourite of our Salman Khan and Katrina Kaif while they were shooting in Havana recently. Then there is the outstanding La Guarida in an old Palador ( residence), which the NYT rates highly. It is virtually impossible to get a booking there. It is also the locale for that delightful movie, ' Like water for Chocolate'.
Since we have always enjoyed a 'Hindi- Cuban' bhai bhai relationship with the country, I wasn't surprised to see a statue of Mahatma Gandhi in a beautiful park encircled by gigantic Banyan trees. More in my next post. Gotta run. Flight leaving for Genoa, Naples in a few minutes.
Ciao for now!

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Bad behaviour is bad behaviour.No excuses!

This appeared in Times Of India

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The Saif-Iqbal punch out story is still limping along, but it may soon be consigned to the dustbin. Which is a good thing and a bad thing. It will work in Saif’s favour if the media loses interest. And in Iqbal’s favour if the media keeps up the pressure (Jigna Vohra-J.Dey case would have been buried a long time ago had the press not stayed with it relentlessly). I think what is really bugging people in the Saif brawl is the issue of privileges and preferential treatment that celebs expect as their birthright. The word that keeps popping up is ‘entitlement’. Not the fault of the celebs at all. This is how the system works in India. Forget big ticket movie stars, watch how petty politicians and their lackeys bulldoze their way through sticky situations…. and everybody obliges, cops included. But, in the present more aware and citizen-empowered environment, the aam aadmi is displaying a belligerent mood. So, no amount of hiding behind the rather comical “We come from respectable homes”( then behave respectably, dammit!), arguments is likely to influence public opinion, which is hostile and aggressive. Bad behaviour is unpardonable and cannot be condoned. What is expected from a mature, educated professional ( let’s leave all that ‘Nawab’ nonsense out of it),is a straightforward , upfront account of what happened. Difficult, yes, without compromising his legal position. But definitely more honourable in the long run. If Saif is proven guilty, punish him. If not, get off his back.
Nope, being a high profile movie star is not easy. Never was, never will be. And times have changed a great deal from that era when that amazing trio of superstars (Raj Kapoor, Dilip Kumar, Dev Anand) ruled the roost and never once attacked each other , either verbally or physically. Maintaining a level of decorum in public places has been thrown out of the window decades ago by an arrogant segment of Bollywood. What actually transpired that night in ‘Wasabi’ will be hard to establish without cctv camera footage.We have to rely on police expertise to piece it together convincingly enough. But one thing’s for sure, it will bear a negative impact on Saif Ali Khan’s image ( the other men from his group are non-entities). It is equally true that the public gets a sadistic thrill when a high profile person gets into trouble with the law. The upside of being a pampered celeb, comes with the downside as well. Perhaps, Saif was the chosen one for this particular reality check. But this avoidable incident should serve as a lesson to other celebs not to take the law into their own hands, rather, fists!

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Karachi Lit Fest 2012.Some more from 'Dawn' to dusk!

KLF: An affair to remember
Here we are with the OUP team and Vikram Seth!! Trust me, OUP boasts of brainy beauties, and the marketing team in particular, is outstanding. Well done Ameena, Raheela, Fatima and Soonita.

This report from veteran journo and respected author provides the best overview of KLF. Enjoy!

Posted By Asif Noorani



Now that it has been over 10 days that the Karachi Literature Festival [1] has ended it would be worthwhile assessing the mega event dispassionately, even though one can’t be totally objective about anything. To begin with, it was organised in what turned out to be the coldest days of February since 1950. You can’t blame the organisers for that. Can you?

Secondly, the third edition of the KLF [2] had more sessions than the first two and saw many more people attending the two-day event. How many more, I leave that for statisticians to tell you. The speakers and panellists from home and abroad were more too. Expectations were higher and they were by and large fulfilled, which is not to mean that there were no glitches. They are bound to be when due to surfeit of questions from the audiences (often comments masquerading as queries) some sessions spilled over into the following ones.

For the first time (if I am not mistaken) parallel events ran for the kids. There was a stall selling books for them. A spirit of carnival pervaded in that part of Carlton Hotel.

If there were errors of judgement, they will in all probability be taken care of next year. I too made a mistake and promised myself not to repeat it. I was supposed to introduce Shobhaa De and didn’t realise that the jam-packed audience was there not to hear about her, but they wanted to listen to her. Period.

Dressed in a resplendent bright silk sari, Shobhaa was an audiovisual appeal. She also proved that she was as articulate in her speech as she happened to be in her writings. She was chased by the media and she enjoyed every moment of it. She is an old hand at handling them.

If there was one person who was the darling of the audience then it was none other than the novelist-poet Vikram Seth [3]. He was quick on the uptake. Those, like me, who couldn’t attend his session, got a chance to listen to the highly gifted writer and speaker on a subsequent evening at the head office of the co-hosts, Oxford University Press.

The Indians were more in numbers than participants from any other country, in much the same way as the Pakistanis had been in greater number at the Asian Advertising Congress across the border last year. Keeping a low profile were the charming couple from Calcutta. Kishore Bhimani got more applause than other foreigners in the session titled ‘Writing about Pakistan from a foreign perspective’. His wife, Rita who has written books on public relations and is in great demand as an anchor back home, facilitated many sessions with her innate charm.

Anatole Lieven [4], whose book on Pakistan, is arguably the finest and fairest volume written in recent years, was listened to in rapt attention. By the same token, London-based Yasmin Khan, the author of an invaluable book on Partition, and Alok Bhalla, a noted Indian scholar, spoke a lot of sense in the session ‘Looking back at Partition’. I had the good fortune of being one of the panellists and my sole point was that any attempt to undo partition would mean a lot more mayhem and bloodshed. In the interest of more than two billion people of the two countries, it was necessary that we emulated the example of the US and Canada, two friendly neighbours.

I ended my 10 minute allotted time by saying that personally I benefited from the division. Had it not been so my wife would have stayed behind in Meerut and a couple of decades later married her second or third cousin, while I would have remained in Bombay, where I may have taken a Bollywood starlet to the altar. A year or two later she would have found a filthy rich man and would have walked out of my house, and my heart, of course.

The list of some big names from home and abroad, who graced the festival is long and can be seen at the KLF’s website [5].

One last point, it is quite surprising to hear some people insist that the venue be changed to suit those who have no transport of their own. At a time when you see two-wheelers parked outside the houses in lower middle class localities it would be rare to find such people. Also, please remember that Carlton Hotel is not light years away from any part of Karachi.

One of my friends is an ardent supporter of Expo Centre in Gulshan-e-Iqbal, which is fine for book fairs but not for literature festivals, where not one but four rooms, much smaller than the Expo Centre’s halls, are needed. What is more, those halls have no seating arrangements. By the way, Expo Centre is prohibitively expensive for what is essentially a non-commercial event.

Having attended several conventions and conferences abroad, I have noticed that events like the KLF are either held in hotels or are at walking distances from places where the delegates are lodged.

One nut has been writing here, there and everywhere that the literature festival should be held at the Goethe-Institut. He can’t be serious. The German cultural centre should first expand its premises 20 times to even be considered for such an event. Secondly, people will have to leave their cars and motorbikes at home for there is no parking space outside Goethe-Institut. The generous chief minister won’t allow the hospitality of his huge and heavily guarded house next door. These days all VVIP are mortally afraid of cars laden with explosives.



The writer, who jointly authored the bestselling ‘Tales of Two Cities’ with Kuldip Nayar and more recently compiled and created ‘Mehdi Hasan: The Man and his Music’ writes and lectures on music, literature and culture. He also reviews books and pens travelogues and humorous pieces, and can be contacted at asifnoorani2002@yahoo.com [6]

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'Cuban Countdown' begins....

This is a picture of my friend's chauffeur and bodyguard with me. Check out the weapon!!
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Why 'Cuban Countdown'??? Because this time tomorrow I shall be on a jetplane headed for Cuba. I am thrilled! Havana has remained a dream destination for the longest time. I was afraid there it would stay forever - in my dreams! But, some dreams do come true. And am I glad this one is obliging! I'll be MIA for two weeks. May blog and connect from Havana . Or Capri. Or London. Or Naples. Kuch bhi ho sakta hai. Perhaps, by the time I get back, Saif will be.... no,no,no. Let me not say it!!!

This appeared in The Week' ....

Will Meryl make it even though Maggie doesn't....??

The ‘Iron(ic) Lady’

I am writing this on what smart Sweetheart Sellers of the world have declared as the ‘most romantic day of the year’ - Valentine’s Day. On the personal front, I am feeling reasonably romantic ( I have a movie-dinner date with my husband), but I so wish I had not watched ‘The Iron Lady’ last night. It is an intensely sad and cruel film. And for those of us from ‘that’ generation, who grew up on images of Maggie Thatcher decimating adversaries (mainly male colleagues), it was disillusioning and tragic to sit through this particular portrayal of a once great woman. Meryl Streep is the most extraordinary actress of our times. No doubt she will win several awards for her supremely intelligent interpretation of an outstanding political leader. But for viewers who may base their assessment of Baroness Thatcher on nothing more substantial than a Hollywood bio-pic, this version of a steely, courageous woman, will certainly be grossly misleading. After a point, I couldn’t bear to watch. And here’s why: Maggie Thatcher is still alive.At 95, she’s a frail old, sick lady suffering from Dementia. This is a movie that starts and ends with a sadistic chronicling of Maggie’s fragile mental condition, occasionally taking in other aspects of her dramatic rise to becoming the most powerful woman on earth (post-Falklands’ war). Nearly everything else is converted into a footnote, as the camera remains cold and steady watching Maggie as she pathetically attempts to remember tiny details of her life, frequently lapsing into a hallucinatory state. Even if all the incidents shown with such a painful attention to detail, are accurate and can be corroborated, isn’t it awfully hurtful to concentrate on such a delicate condition, almost to the exclusion of all else? What about Maggie’s dignity? And the dignity of countless other sufferers?
Maggie’s relationship with her husband of 50 years,Sir Denis, is recreated from the time they met to Denis’ death in 2003 at the age of 88. It may well have been a complex and troubled marriage. But the later scenes of Denis mocking Maggie for not recalling which day of the week it is, comes across as being particularly harsh. Perhaps, Maggie’s most difficult relationship ( as projected in the award winning movie) is with Carol, her daughter, who is the only loving figure in an otherwise grim narrative. Maggie is shown humiliating her time and again, even as the poor woman struggles to help her mum hang on to remnants of her tattered life. In a concluding scene, her daughter asks whether she should call a hair dresser to fix Maggie’s coiffeur before an important event. Maggie declines. The daughter repeats innocently, “So, who’ll fix your hair , mummy?” Maggie snaps imperiously, “You do it!” before dismissing her. Carol got her own back by penning a memoir in 2008, that offered telling details of Mum’s slide into dementia. Exploitative and brutal?
I’d reacted the same way to the portrayal of Phoolan Devi as ‘The Bandit Queen’. Poor Phoolan may have needed the money, and was an illiterate woman when the movie was launched internationally. In the case of Maggie, had the filmmakers touched on her health condition and not made it the centerpiece of the movie, it would have been a more honorable way to showcase the Thatcher era. Well, that’s showbiz for you. Zero in on the subject’s biggest vulnerability and milk it to death. Maggie was a world leader with several achievements to her credit. Here , she is shown as an insecure bitch, a selfish, screechy harridan, constantly tormenting those who love her the most – Denis and Carol - when she isn’t berating her party men (there are no women in Maggie’s team). It is a one- sided, nasty depiction that would make most viewers squirm and believe Maggie did not possess a single redeeming quality.
For a ‘Grocer’s daughter’ ( as she was dubbed by upper crust Conservatives), Maggie proved it was possible to achieve the impossible. Her sharp, two words’ command to the Navy chief (“Sink it!”) during the Falklands’ crisis with Argentina, won the war for Britain. But it may have sunk Maggie, despite the short spell of hero worship that followed the victory. This movie underlines the iron content of this amazing woman in ways that are hostile and negative. It’s back to the old stereotype of women politicians who are expected to solve global issues in parliament, but must toe the predictable line at home by washing tea cups and cooking hot meals for the family.
Yes, Meryl Streep ( Bafta winner) scores big with yet another acquired accent. But my heart bleeds for Maggie, whose life has been reduced to a pathetic struggle trying to recall whether Denis is still alive or dead.

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Will the real Imran Khan please stand up??

These pictures were taken at the Karachi Lit Fest. The second one is with my all time favourite author, Vikram Seth. If you'd like to view more images - just ask! Nicely!!
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Ooooof! Saif is at it again!! Breaking noses and courting arrest. At the time of writing, the cops are sitting on a fence. The timing could be seen as perfect - or awful. Saif's big , independent film 'Agent Vinod' , is about to launch. Negative publicity is the best kind of publicity these days ! Even so, I find it hard to believe our Nawab would stoop to such levels just to get a buzz going. Watch this space.
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Found it!

Is Imran Khan the game changer in Pakistan??

“ Forget Imran’s past.It’s his future you should be looking at. We don’t care how many girlfriends he had , still has or may have in the years ahead.That’s irrelevant.The man is talking sense. There is sobriety in his speeches.He is attracting crowds.” The person telling me this on a chilly night at a chic cafe in Karachi last week is a prominent corporate lawyer.His wife nods her head in agreement and explains why Imran deserves to win. “He represents change and the youth of Pakistan are craving for such a leader. They are sick and tired of corruption, which is worse than it is in India. Imran may be many things, but one thing he isn’t and that’s corrupt.” So, that’s settled. Imran represents change. And he’s not corrupt. When I ask whether he has the backing of the mighty Generals, the members of this small group look at one another and answer vaguely, “It’s possible. But he’s not their puppet.” Co-incidentally, Imran was visiting Karachi during the Lit Fest weekend. But was not scheduled to make an appearance to promote his best selling book. He was there to hold rallies, meet journalists at a seaside kebab joint and attend a high profile wedding. Interestingly, young Bilawal Zardari was expected at the Lit Fest, but had to cancel when the all important security clearance was not given.And that was that. No drama. A ‘Rushdie moment’ was thus skillfully avoided.However, Sanam, Benazir’s low key sister and the only surviving sibling, slipped in and out of various sessions sans the slightest fuss.
The well-organised Karachi Lit Fest is now in its third year. Inspired by our Jaipur Lit Fest, it has since acquired its own distinct identity, and manages to attract erudite scholars and brat writers from across
the world. The atmosphere is determinedly bookish, and so far, it has not been turned into a carnival to which socialites from Lahore fly in to show off their latest Birkins.The focus remains on books, opinion, dissent and debate. Who would have thought this possible? Just beyond the boundaries of the slightly rundown Carlton Hotel which hosted the event this year, lies a totally different world. But within the hotel’s heavily guarded compound, people move around freely, mobbing their favourites ( Vikram Seth was by far the biggest star of this Fest). Nothing daunts the enthusiasts, not even a prominent plaque near the entrance that reads : ‘Weapons not allowed inside.” These signs are common wherever one goes. Armed bodyguards hired by private individuals have become mandatory in a city that is rated as one of the most dangerous in the world. Despite the somewhat sinister atmosphere
(what with frequent murders, kidnappings and shootouts in Karachi’s toniest areas), the never say die attitude of locals remains intact. Yes, there is widespread cynicism,even despair, about the way the country is run, but there is also optimism that things are about to change. This is where the Imran factor kicks in. And no, he is not perceived as the Sarah Palin of Pakistan. Citizens insist there has been a level of consistency and determination in whatever he has undertaken (“He’s obstinate!”) – be it the state of the art Cancer Hospital he built in memory of his mother or his decision to start his own political party despite the odds. He is also seen as a ‘friend of India’, which works against him with hardliners who make no attempt to hide their anti-India feelings. “India really knows how to sell itself well,” I was told , almost as if India was pulling a con trick on the world. “Look at your economy and look at ours.India is surging ahead, while Pakistan is in reverse gear,” a banker pointed out. Meanwhile, the abandoned Indian Consulate ( dubbed “Bhoot Bangla”) tells its own story. Intellectuals blame poor governance for the sorry state of affairs.. The poor blame the rich. The situation is pretty desperate, with no gas and frequent power cuts. “Most of our money is spent on arming ourselves. If even half that amount was spent on schools and hospitals, Pakistan would be a different country,” said a woman who runs a successful garment business. No worries.Uncle Sam has offered a whopping $2.4billion in 2013. Everyone cribs about insane prices, even those who live in luxurious farm houses on the outskirts of Karachi and host lavish weekend brunches for influential friends.Imran Khan in his ‘new,improved’ avatar (g’bye Playboy Politician.Hello, Heavyweight Leader) does not attend such decadent celebrations.He is a changed man. And he wants to change his country. Inshallah, that will happen.For both our sakes. Imran Khan is all set to play a second captain’s innings for Pakistan.All he now needs is a good team to win the match.

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What kind of a disgusting ad is that???

When a respected and respectable newspaper carries this offensive, yucky ad on it's entire front page on a Sunday, and nobody protests,it's time to worry. Come on, guys. Show some basic decency.
The other television commercial that gets my goat features Dhoni(what's the bet he's Bollywood- bound?) and a little boy who wants to pee. Dhoni picks up the kid and takes him to a kennel in the garden and makes him pee into the chained pet dog's food bowl!!! This is apparently to teach the pet dog not to pee on Dhoni's car. Disgraceful!
The ad I like stars Neetu (" I know EVERYTHING!") Singh.This one is clever and wonderfully executed. More Neetu, more! Now that Rauf Lala aka Rishi Kapoor has walked away with all the acting awards, it's time for you to strut your stuff - solo!

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'Lawn Wars' across the border....

For the past one hour, possibly more, I have been struggling to make a folder of my recent pictures taken in Karachi and Goa, so I could share a few images with my blogdosts. Zero success!! It is totally frustrating. My daughters are much too busy these days to help out. One leaves for Doha tonight. Another has a date. That leaves moi, tearing her freshly shampooed hair in rage. Not that it helps. Last year on Mahashivratri, I was at the historic Babulnath temple with Arundhati. God knows what those sadhus were smoking ( chillums were involved ), but both of us came home pretty light headed after inhaling a great deal of some sweet smelling smoke!
I wanted to post my Imran Khan column here, but for some reason it is stuck as an image in 'My Pictures'. Don't ask!!
Better luck tomorrow???
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‘Lawn Wars’ across the border…

Forget our Fashion Week Wars during which famous desi designers go for each other’s throats and are ready to kill rivals for crimes ranging from stealing designs to bribing models. That’s a piece of toast compared to the ‘Lawn Wars’ currently raging in Pakistan. Wars that are fought so fiercely by competing fashion designers, they make our U.P. Elections skirmishes look like a Teddy Bear’s picnic. Question number one: what is ‘Lawn’? Question number two: Why are Pakistani designers clawing each other’s eyes out over it? ‘Lawn’ is to Pakistan, what silk is to India. ‘Lawn’ is pure cotton of a superb quality. The arrival of new ‘Lawns’ in the market is a ritual that is greatly anticipated by women since it coincides with Spring.This quaint tradition goes back several decades. ‘Lawn’ is nothing more than a printed mill fabric that fuels the textile industry in Pakistan. Gul Ahmed in Karachi is possibly the biggest ‘Lawn’ brand. While Gul Ahmed caters to the mass market and is astonishingly well priced, it is the smaller, more niche units that attract designers, who tie up with the mill to create distinctive prints, which are packaged and sold as three piece suits ( shalwar-kameez-dupatta). These suits are further embellished with decorative patches, lace and embroideries. Designers try and create a new look ‘Lawn’ every year, and that’s when the wars begin. Driving into Karachi from the airport, I noted that nearly every large hoarding featured ads for Designer Lawn Exhibitions. These monumental sales are conducted under especially erected tents on gigantic grounds or fancy halls. Think Rohit Bal hiring half of Azad Maidan to display his new collection. That’s the scale! Designers fight tooth and nail for dates to launch their Lawns, and hold press conferences before this momentous event. The system is pretty well oiled. Customers stream into these exhibitions and survey the new Lawn suits displayed on store mannequins. They then make their pick and get coupons according to a series of numbers.After queuing up in serpentine lines armed with those coupons, clients finally get their hot,little hands on selected suits! Complicated? Perhaps. But that’s how it goes. Did I bring back ‘Lawn’ suits? You bet! But I bought mine at crowded local markets ( much more fun!). I only hope they are the genuine article and not made in China!
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The fashion scene in Karachi is very vibrant with several top notch designers creating beautiful, well finished garments at affordable prices. Heading the fraternity is Maheen, a striking lady, who is known as the Coco Chanel of Pakistan. Immaculately dressed at all times, Maheen has enjoyed a great deal of international success ( she designed the costumes for ‘Alexander’), and has her own label ‘Gulabo’ that promotes Truck Art ( very uniquely Karachi).More than that, she mentors young designers and steers the Karachi Fashion Week with enormous aplomb. Along with Shamaeel Ansari ( another hugely successful designer), Maheen has created a strong brand for Pakistani fashion and is looking forward to showing in India soon. Inshallah, it will happen.

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The Balls in Karachi are something else! Yes, Balls! Imagine the incongruity of it all. Socialites throng to these glamourous events which are generally linked to fund raising initiatives and patronized by the rich and famous, who turn up in all their finery for these officially ‘dry’ functions ( remember: no booze, we are Pakistani), but at which Scotch ( a national obsession) surreptitiously flows like the Sutlej. Will our own socialites please organize a few Balls immediately?? We need to catch up!!
I was wondering where I’d landed when the lovely ,young PIA flight attendant repeatedly announced the arrival of our flight at ‘Chitrapati Shivji’ International airport! Pass me the Scotch, please…

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