Love is enough...

So it is!
Am taking a short break.
Miss me!
Irresistible Istanbul beckons.... who can possibly say 'no'to the Bosphorus?

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Angelina Jolie's Booby Trap

This is the handsome boy with loads of attitude. Meet Schumi - Lord of the Manor at Alibag.
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This appeared in Financial Chronicle...

                                        Off with the boobs…!

Surely, there were better options, Ms. Jolie? Did you really have to?  

Agreed , the wicked world has always been unnaturally fixated on Angelina’s scrumptious body parts  – all of them. But come on. We are talking about the most famous breasts in the world! Angelina has dominated the beauty space longer than any other living female celebrity. Often referred to as ‘The Most Beautiful Woman in the World,’ Jolie is recognized as the ultimate sex goddess. Desirable. Awesome. Perfect. Which is why the news about her double mastectomy last week left us open mouthed and puzzled. Why, Angie, why? Fans moaned.Angie claims to have now brought down  her breast cancer risk from 50% to less than 5%.Good for her.The faulty BRCA2 gene she says  she inherited may have been tamed by her drastic preventive method. But what about us? We ,who have happily, hungrily feasted  on her body beautiful for years? Envied it? No matter how ‘brave’ this mastectomy makes Jolie, there will be millions of fans world wide who will see her through a new filter and feel devastated. Jolie is less Jolie. Cruel as this sounds, it’s true. Such is the  immense power of  beauty. And our own pathetic need to seek perfection in those lucky enough to possess it.

 It is to Jolie’s credit that she has used this very power and special position to put her slender self  behind key global initiatives, that have helped countless people. Despite all these wonderful public deeds… despite all the accolades accumulated as a formidable actor,alas,  in Jolie’s case,  it was always about The Body. And the fascination for The Body was unambiguously driven by our fascination for her perfectly sculpted breasts. Jolie’s  shapely right leg, of course, enjoyed a life of its own after she stuck it out provocatively during a photo call at Cannes. But the leg’s reign has been abruptly cut short now. From this moment on, the leg will take a back seat to Jolie’s new, reconstructed breasts. This is serious. We are talking about breasts. Anjelina Jolie’s breasts . And yes, now that we know the originals are gone… as in, we know she had them surgically removed, we are intensely disturbed and disoriented by the act. This  incredibly gorgeous woman has made what is perhaps the toughest decision a woman can ever make –  she hacked off a part of herself . Hacking off breasts, for any ordinary woman is akin to hacking off her female identity. Sorry, that’s pretty much the deal, no matter how unpalatable it sounds to feminists.  

A woman’s relationship with her breasts is hard to decode.Let’s just say it is extremely precious and  powerful. A woman will part with her kidney or a lung if she had to, but ask her to sacrifice her mammary glands, and see the reaction. We can safely call it an irrational attachment to a mass of tissue topped with a nipple ( both have their uses). Sounds crazy, but we like our tissue and nipples. A lot! Regardless of shape or size. Breasts are comforting. Breasts are sensual. Breasts provide reassurance and pleasure. Which is why millions of women are asking  -  was it a must? I mean, surely there were other, less radical medical options?

 Jolie says she did it for her children.Even if one buys into the rationality of her argument, and hails her for taking such a  bold decision, another part of the brain says, “ Is she nuts? Not every woman who has breast cancer dies of it. There are so many breakthroughs today… there will be many more in the future. Here’s someone who has the means to get the best possible treatment if she ever gets affected. And she goes and opts for a double mastectomy? Really!

There are other basic , personal and touchy questions, too.What happens to Jolie’s sex life? Will Brad and she continue to enjoy conjugal bliss? No change? What about the odd timing for her surgery – weren’t the two of them planning a big wedding soon? And what of her Hollywood career ? Come on! Of course, there are countless leading ladies  with reconstructed breasts. And silicon does rule in showbiz. Phir bhi. Now that we all know those boobs aren’t the real things (Jolie has gone into graphic details), will we feel a little squeamish the next time we see her famous cleavage on screen? Nasty, nasty.

I so wish she had hung on to her lovely breasts. And taken her chances. Like millions of other women  . Somehow, I find that the braver option.

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Lifestyle Crimes...

Anasuya Devi is not looking too pleased! While her Naani is all smiles!

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This appeared in the Asian Age...

                             Young, restless, ambitious and murderous…

Aditya Rankha, aged 13, was assaulted with a kitchen knife, stabbed several times and finally burnt to death a little outside Mumbai , after a ransom plan didn’t pan out the way his assailants had planned it. The two men who kidnapped and killed Aditya this week were not strangers, but people he had grown up with, trusted and perhaps, loved. Especially , Himanshu, the 28 year-old-cousin Aditya called ‘Bhaiyya’. Himanshu’s accomplice Vijesh Sanghvi (26), lived in the locality and had hatched the clumsy conspiracy to pick up Aditya from his home and demand 30 lakhs from his father for the teen’s safe return. Nothing all that unusual about the story, right? Absolutely. We are getting so used to urban crimes of this kind that they don’t really register any longer. But here’s the sub- text : This Mumbai teenager was killed by two desperados who had  lost 10 lakhs in illegal IPL bets. Obviously, the bookies involved in the 500 crores IPL betting racket had turned up the heat.The 10 lakhs debt had to be settled, and fast.  That two married, middle class men living in Central Mumbai, who claimed they were management graduates running small businesses, could hatch such a bloody plot and kill an innocent relative in cold blood, provides its own chilling narrative of what is shredding our society  -  greed . Both killers have mentioned splurging wildly at nightclubs and ‘enjoying’ themselves. This idea of ‘enjoyment’ has become a social disease that recognizes no bounds. Faced with a staggering debt, these men thought nothing of kidnapping a kid, and subsequently butchering him when the kid’s father didn’t follow their script and meekly pay up. He went to the cops instead. Meanwhile, the terrified teenager was begging his ‘Bhaiyaa’ for forgiveness and calling out to his own mother in anguish, when the knife was plunged into him over and over again.

 Did such grisly crimes take place ten years ago in our cities? A few… perhaps. But today, there is a virtual murder epidemic raging in our cities,with horrific reports emerging on a daily basis.These are lifestyle crimes. Committed by people who want to move up the social ladder, at whatever cost.Men like Himanshu and Vijesh can be spotted at any upmarket lounge bar, drinking like beasts, eyeing pretty girls, getting rowdier with each refill, speeding down Marine Drive, often in borrowed or stolen cars, shopping at fancy malls with  credit cards that are dished out like free chana. Soon they start to believe they belong to a class that stubbornly refuses to accept them despite their throwing names and money around. Frustration follows, leading to further flashy acquisitions and higher borrowings. Scaling up socially replaces hard work and genuine success. The only markers are those the world recognizes -  fancy cars, expensive watches, designer clothes, the latest gizmos, foreign holidays and upgraded homes in the city’s better areas. Some of these stories are worthy of epic novels and movies. From a slum in Central Mumbai to a penthouse on Pali Hill - it is no longer a distant dream or fantasy. It is happening. It is achievable. It is worth murdering a cousin for.

This is the point at which a hard luck story turns macabre. It is the casualness on display that is both baffling and sinister. Aditya’s life was taken to settle a 10 lakhs IPL bet. The additional 20 lakhs demanded from Jitendra, Aditya’s father, would have financed a few more hedonistic indulgences, had the ransom been paid. The two idiots had not thought beyond getting their hands on the much needed money. The murder itself was so foolishly executed, they’d left the dead teenager’s colourful sandals in the car, as they drove to the cop station with Jitendra. It was an alert Jitendra who spotted them and told the cops. The accused are neither hard core criminals, nor professional killers. They represent the aam aadmi on every level. So what is the malaise in our society that is leading such people to commit dastardly crimes? Do they really think they’ll   get away with murder?Do they think at all? Or is the glitter and glamour of instant gratification far more compelling than the risk involved? What about the reactions of their young wives and children? Other family members? The shame and ignominy of it all? The scary truth is the lure of a luxurious lifestyle has completely blinded young urban India to consequences – moral or otherwise.  There seems to be nothing at stake anymore. Everybody is chasing some impossible dream that promises paradise. Sometimes, one looks at tv commercials (especially the ones that are telecast during the ongoing IPL) and wonders. They are so clever, so subversive they startle and shock the unwary! Most tap into middle class frustrations, with wives and children demanding more and more and more from harried husbands and fathers (exotic summer vacations, bigger tv sets, pricy air conditioners). Banks offer attractive 0% interest on loans ( come on, guys! Who are you kidding?) urging the gullible to splurge on the latest smart phone or even a  beach villa. Irresistible and heady as such offers are, there is always a catch. That’s where the Himanshus and Vijeshs get phasaoed. Unwilling to wait for goodies that require some effort to acquire, they start gambling , first with currency, then with life itself.

Young Aditya’s murder is emblematic of this rotten syndrome.As of now, one can only see a further escalation of similar crimes.The stakes may get higher. But lives will definitely get cheaper . Soon a time will come when a similar story will be reduced to a mere footnote in the dailies.We’ll read it wearily,get bored… and turn the page. Yes, we will passively accept it as another day in the life of a metro. Be warned.

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Salaam- Namastey....

Our Kaiser in Alibag.

                                      Handshake,mwuah, aadab or namastey…?

Here’s the basic ground rule, ladies : when in doubt, opt for a namastey. It’s the safest, most hygienic and indisputably the best greeting in the world. Women and handshakes? Naaah. Of course, this is a sexist remark. So, kill me folks. But why would I want to extend my hand and make physical contact with strangers of either sex?  Traditional social greetings have gone for a big toss in urban India ever since we discovered the dubious and decidedly dodgy ‘joys’ of mwah-mwahing. Let’s face it, we get our version of  air kissing all wrong to begin with. There is enormous awkwardness on display as we clumsily attempt to make lip contact with assorted proferred cheeks ,often of  randoms we aren’t likely to ever meet again (strictly speaking, no lip contact is required, it’s more a cheek-to-cheek deal). Consider the downside: noses get in the way, for starters, followed by the whole confusion over left cheek first or right? This dilemma leads to nervous giggles and apologies, with squashed faces and snout- like pouts making for a far from attractive public performance. Take a look at paparazzi shots of our Bolllywood Divas greeting friends, lovers and rivals on the red carpet. Oooof! Such self - consciousness and discomfort on display. The fact of the matter is that social kissing a la Europe does not come naturally to us. It is a comparatively new phenomenon, and we have yet to get the hang of the drill. But does that stop  desis ? Bilkul nahi!

The traditional ‘aadab’ ( SRK sticks to it) is respectful and visually attractive. But will the younger lot adopt this form of greeting ? No chance. Like the namastey, the aadab is also considered ‘uncool’ by those who prefer an idiotic ‘Yo’! accompanied by a high five. Try telling college kids to switch, even when they meet friends of their parents in formal settings. They will laugh derisively at the suggestion. Even for people of my vintage,the simple act of folding ones hands when introduced, has all but disappeared. Instead, one has to deal with aggressive chaps refusing to accept a namastey and boldly leaning forward to plant that entirely unwelcome peck on the cheek. I loathe the practice – think of the yucky side effects – beer and biryani breath, the roughness of stubble,slobbering sound effects… who needs that? It is so much more civilized to allow the woman to decide just what level of proximity suits her. Does she want to be hugged by a boor? Make contact with a paunch? Have some desperate  chap ‘accidentally’ brush past her chest? No,no,no! Which is why, I admire contemporary parents who have trained even toddlers to greet everybody with a sweet ‘Jai Shree Krishna’.

The right salutations leave a strong and lasting impact. Hats off to the anonymous female Indian delegate who ignored Chinese President Li’s extended hand and stuck to a namastey recently. Do I prefer a super casual ‘Hi Aunty!” to a ‘Namastey Aunty?” You know the answer. I have zero problems with ‘Aunty’. But  several with ‘Hi!”And when was the last time you saw today’s super cool bachchas touch the feet of their grandparents, parents and elders to seek their blessings on birthdays, before leaving for a trip, rushing off  to an important exam or  job interview? I grew up doing just that. And trust me, the emotions generated via that simple gesture were worth the extra few seconds invested in it. Folding hands, bowing ones head in the presence of those who have lived longer years on this earth, instills a sense of  humility and respect. It works both ways. You show respect, you get respect. The thing is if you want to catch them young, you also have to teach them young.

Handshakes, I learned from  my cousin Usha Bhende, who helpfully forwarded an article on the subject recently, were invented by warriors, for warriors (“ Look! I am unarmed!”). The mwah- mwah as we practice it, must have been a Paris Hilton/ Kim Kardashian brainwave, designed for the cameras. So many of our lovely Bollywood ladies are in Cannes this weekend. I’m betting Vidya Balan will sensibly stick to a namastey, Aishwarya to the royal wave and the others will giddily kiss away. If chumma chumma we must, let’s at least get the protocol in place first. Once? Twice? Or thrice… like the French do it?

Ab sabko kaun sikhayega? Forget it… and stick to a salaam-namastey .

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Asli masala...

Thanks to our Blogdost Aparna, I have been getting a steady supply of the best Goda Masala, since my Aji and mother used to painstakingly grind it in our  old kitchen using fresh spices, roasted on a tawa.. Heaven knows what goes into the amazing Goda Masala mix, but once you acquire a taste for its fiery contents, you stay hooked for life!  Aparna's sister Deepa is the enterprising lady behind this venture. I can vouch for it  - this is the real stuff. As Maharashtrian as  ussal. By the way, I also  sprinkle a little on my mid-morning ussal.
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He's too sexy for his dish dash!

        Too handsome for his own good!

Here’s a small test : Who is Omar Borkan Al Gala? If that name rings a bell, chances are you are a twenty-something, net-savvy female. I stumbled across the name and image of this person when I noticed my youngest daughter’s status. It read ‘Yummy!” This single word was positioned under a photograph of a staggeringly good looking young Arab with a rakish half-smile and fussily trimmed beard. I confess I was a little startled by her open admission of…. shall we say, unadulterated lust? I decided to conduct my own ‘research’ and discovered more about this international  headline grabber . Omar shot to fame after he was anointed the most desired poster boy du jour by females across the globe. This was right after being thrown out of   the annual Jenadrivah Heritage & Cultural Festival in Riyadh. His ‘crime’? His incredible good looks! Authorities feared this young guy (and two other men) were a bit too attractive, too hot to handle, for the delicate local ladies at the Festival! That is just so hilarious!What did the organizers imagine?That women in droves would attack these hunks? Molest them? Rob them of their virtue? Oooooh! The terrible weakness of  out-of-control, lustful women. Ha! Surely this incident marks an international first? I cannot recall another occasion when a man was penalized for his amazing looks! It’s another matter that Omar Borkan has shot to global fame overnight and become an obsession across continents! He has been promptly grabbed by international showbiz agents ready to flog his recent super celebrity status and make big bucks out of  it. A movie role and more….

 Years ago, I had a really fun night in London at what was then considered a pretty risqué men’s striptease club in Soho.  It was a riot! There were at least six bachelorette parties in full swing that evening, which meant it was a crowd of  exaggeratedly rowdy ( read: inebriated)  women, whistling and hooting each time a new act opened on the small stage. The ‘act’ didn’t go beyond a bunch of musclemen stripping off their clothes to throbbing music. As each item of clothing was peeled off, there were prolonged shrieks from the ladies. Since there were six brides in the audience, the strippers made sure to come up and give each one a special treat (let’s leave out details!). Some of those men were seriously well endowed and good looking ( think John Abraham and Akshay Kumar playing male escorts in Desi Boyz). High spirited ladies were placing bids and wondering how much it would cost to take a couple of these fellows home. It was taken in the right spirit – no offence meant, none taken. At the end of the show, most women staggered off to the nearest bar to giggle some more… and prolong the innocent madness of the evening.

Saudi Arabia is a different destination. And this is not to compare cultures or judge them. It is just amusing to note the high levels of male suspicion and fear in Riyadh. While pretending to ‘protect’ local women from swooning at the feet of these men and surrendering to Adonis-like predators from across the border, the organizers were in fact displaying their own paranoia and insecurity. One wonders to what extent they’ll go in future to ensure good looking guys stay away from Riyadh? Will they scan submitted pictures before issuing passes? Will there be an all male screening committee at the venue scrutinizing visitors and sifting Greek Gods from ornery hoi polloi?? Will they come up with a tax on good looks? What about the women? Nobody knows their views . Have they admitted their weakness and confessed they were unable to concentrate on a thing with Omar and his pals prowling the grounds? Poor , deprived women. Can something similar happen in India? Heaven forbid!

My eyes are peeled. I am looking out for Omar sightings. Where will this dishy guy in a dish dash pop up next? My curiosity has peaked. I have noticed my daughter’s fresh updates featuring a whole new set of Omar images.  With each new photo session, he changes his fashionable head gear. From blood red to dune brown. His kohl- lined eyes smoulder and smoke at the lens . He is looking like a million bucks – and probably charging as much. We have countless Omars in India. Fortunately, nobody dares stop us from drooling – yes - even in public. Arjun Rampal  has just topped the  polls as 2012’s Most Desirable Man. Arjun’s gorgeous. But Omar is better. He should definitely come to India. He’ll we welcomed with open arms. Most of them female. But, why leave out equally besotted men?

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Rajeev Sethi - An extraordinary man...

There are certain people in ones life who leave an overwhelming impact on ones senses. Rajeev Sethi is one such. When we met, close to forty years ago,  we knew ( instinctively) we'd be friends for life.He is an astonishingly gifted person. One hour spent in his company, recharges your intellectual and aesthetic batteries for the next couple of years. You begin to 'see'' and sense things differently - through the Rajeev filter. I was lucky to spend an evening with him and his youthful, driven, committed team last evening. When the spectacular Terminal 2 (T2) opens in Mumbai this September,  passengers will be in for an art treat of a lifetime. I was taken on a memorable tour of over 7,000 priceless objets that are currently housed in a gigantic warehouse close to the airport. Once they are installed, they will acquire a life of their own and be shared by the world. I felt so proud and privileged to share this incredible experience of looking at timeless treasures, painstakingly sourced and lovingly restored by the greatest art impresario of our times. Rajeev resembles a kurta-clad Roman emperor these days.  That's quite a leap from the days he looked like a rare Chola Bronze!

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